“With the 4th pick in the 2013 overall draft, the Charlotte Bobcats select…”
Cody Zeller, F/C out of the University of Indiana.
Upon hearing the newest savior of Bobcat’s basketball, the Bobcats’ faithful in TWC Arena promptly did backflips and threw ladies’ underwear onto the stage booed like a mothafucka and threw their hats onto the ground in disgust. After not looking like hot garbage during Summer League, Zeller doubters are slowly but surely picking up their flat brim Bobcat lids and brushing off the dirt, making sure the sticker isn’t bent. But should they still be mad?
Absolutely. There is only two ways this can play out. Either general manager Rich Cho is a complete genius, the kind of guy that bets “all in” in Texas Hold’em without looking at his pocket cards (he is Asian so stereotypically it’s feasible) and Zeller is a better NBA player than Noel, McLemore, Len, McCollum, Adams, Olynyk, and Muhammad (and the usual guy or two out of nowhere that everybody slept on) OR Rich Cho does not possess Lion-O’s Sword of Omens that gives him “sight beyond sight!” and Zeller is a reach on a player that should have been drafted a few spots lower. Bobcat superfans are not prepared to entertain the possibility that Cho is not the infallible GM of God’s YMCA team because he is better than Rod Higgins. Hell, I don’t half blame them, when you’ve been used to a guy crapping the bed every night, you’re willing to overlook the faults of a guy that just piddles on the floor every now and then.
This may be a shock, but, Rich Cho is human. There, I said it. How do we know? Because Rich Cho developed a man-crush on Zeller going back to the Codester’s freshman year at candy cane pants university. Cho was constantly in Bloomington, Indiana drawing hearts and unicorns around Zeller’s face in his notebook. Cho purportedly had a similar man-crush on Bismack Biyombo and traded up to 7th pick to get him. Of all the picks made on Cho’s watch, only Kemba Walker seems like a smart one. The verdict is extremely out on Biyombo (looking like a reach at 7), Michael Kidd-Gilchrist (picked #2 over Drummond, Barnes, Lillard, and Beal to name a few) and of course now Zeller. Jeffery Taylor in the 2nd round of 2012’s draft was a solid pick but my grandma could have gotten that one right.
The man-crush on Zeller was a particularly strong one. Zeller came into his sophomore season as an early pre-season favorite to go #1. A legit 7 footer that runs the floor well and has good hands and instincts is a no-brainer, especially in a weak draft such as 2013’s. Then the GaZeller got exposed and was clearly the 2nd best player on his team behind eventual #2 pick Victor Oladipo. This typically happens to guys returning to college after their stock has nowhere to go but down and scouts get more eyeballs and film on a player to nitpick. (Marcus Smart, if you’re reading this, you’re a dumbass). Fair or not, Zeller’s hype train lagged behind newer, shinier trains like Noel, McLemore, Bennett, and others. Down the draftboard Zeller fell until he landed into the nebulous “Zone of white Centers” (patent pending) where in the mid-lottery Zeller, Olynyk, Len and Adams were all pretty interchangeable depending on fit or need. Nerlens Noel, a freakishly athletic, defensive monster was a consensus top 2 pick despite an ACL injury, rawness, and weighing as much as a dog’s fart. Riding alongside him was the breathlessly athletic shooting guard that could actually shoot , Ben McLemore, as a favorite for #1. Both could be had by Charlotte. But alas, Cho had to have his graceful Hoosier with Owen Wilson’s nose.
How Bad a Pick Was This?
I’m not going to pretend I’m prescient or omniscient (well, not sober anyway) but the pick is definitely an eyebrow raiser and a serious chink in Cho’s armor in terms of being a good eye for draft worthy basketball talent (Cho is from Myanmar so I think I’m clear to use the word ‘chink.’ Gonna do it anyway because I loves me some alliteration). Nobody really knows if Zeller is worthy of this pick until he and his cohorts start playing some meaningful games in the NBA. To say otherwise, well, in the words of Dana Carvey’s impersonation of George H.W. Bush, “I’m not gonna do it. Not gonna do it, wouldn’t be prudent at this juncture.” Zeller has some serious question marks concerning whether his game will translate at the NBA level. For the most part, these have gone unanswered in Summer League because Zeller played against mostly scrubs that will never sniff meaningful minutes in the NBA. To his credit, Zeller had a very good SL but you have to remember that guys like Anthony Randolph often look like LeBron 2.0 in these games. Here’s what everybody wants answered when CZ plays under the bright lights of TWC Arena:
- Does this stretch 4 ability actually exist? I.e. can he shoot from the perimeter.
- Can he play “big” like a proper F/C or will he continue to get his shit blocked by positions 2-5 on most nights?
- Can he beat out the likes of Bismack Biyombo and Josh McRoberts for starter’s minutes? (Lots of people think this is a given. Lots of people are wrong)
- Will he come close at all to reaching those lofty Chris Bosh, LaMarcus Aldridge comparisons? (I’m going to go ahead and go out on a very sturdy, resolute limb here and say “Hell. No.”)
- Will he be able to post up anybody in the NBA with his skinny, Mick Jagger hips? (Probably give John Henson a run for his money)
We shall see.
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